Photo update

It's time, actually it's well over time..... Re-unstuffing

So after feeling really horrible about myself, my life and just in general I decided that something's gotta give and I can't just sit around feeling sorry for myself when I am more than capable of doing something to help shake these feelings. I have been in this little 'I hate my house and its too overwhelming to do anything about it' bubble for a little while now, most likely since I lost my unstuffing mojo. I think I have just not had it in me to force myself to do it, that was until today. I got home from school drop off and looked around at the overwhelming task ahead of me, then I decided that I would procrastinate with a couple of other 'more important' things first. So I made a quick potty chart for Mr almost 3 and of course had to take him to the potty multiple times so he could collect a shiny star sticker, I then had to do the dishes so that I could put the dinner in the slow cooker. There was still a list a mile long of other things like surface cleaning and washing to be folded but I stopped and thought to myself that it really was time to put in some effort and start feeling proud of my home again. I also had the added bonus of moving furniture around slightly which always gives me a major buzz!! So now it is 1pm and I have sorted out divider shelf and dusted it, dusted and tidied all of the other surfaces in the living and dining areas, moved my chair and the divider shelves to open the space up more, and wiped over the insides of the windows and window sills. So yay me! When I sort out all of the items on the dining table I hope to share a couple of pictures so that they are here, on record, to remind me of the potential of this space. I hope to keep at it and tackle the kitchen next so that the whole 'main' area is done. Will see how it goes :)

This mum's journey: Page 2

Sitting distractedly in her rocking chair, fingers resting on the laptop, she reads a random sentimental quote on Facebook. A surge of emotions come rushing forwards that she just can't contain. This year so far has been very hard, there have been alot of purely wonderful things happening around her but there has also been some tragedy, disasters and negativity. She is an emotional, empathetic person who internalises everything. She feels all of the happiness, sadness, excitement, anxiety and frustration of all of those who surround her and she takes on board both the positive and negative energies and generally they equal each other out. On this day however she is feeling particularly down due to life in general and after reading this particular quote on facebook, as lovely as it was, she just wants to curl into a ball as teeny tiny as she can and cry. Things have just snowballed and finally the things that aren't quite right in her world are really starting to bring her down, her life is quite cyclical, she has those wonderful times where things just seem to work and then she has those times of normalcy where its just life as usual and at the end is the time where its all too hard and she wants to give up resulting in some kind of tantrum, fight or revelation which leads back to the beginning again. She feels like she could do more, could be a better mother, wife, friend, person. She feels like she should be able to committ more time to the important day to day things, the running of her home, keeping those around her happy and satisfied. Then she wonders where she fits in, she's not just mum, wife and housekeeper..... she is creative and sociable. She doesn't have time for that right now though, she doesn't have time for anything and it's bringing her down. Needing a quiet moment or an outlet that she doesn't have time for she has taken to giving up and shutting down as its all too hard. She knows it's not as bad as she is feeling it is right at this moment but when the hole has been dug and the dirt has caved in around you it's hard to claw a way out again. "Chin up" she thinks to herself as she starts trying to think of a way to get a little bit of satisfaction from her day. Feeling a little better at having allowed herself a moment to feel the emotions that come with being who she is she takes a deep breath and gets on with her day.

Lunchbox obsessions

Mr 5 started school this year, in fact today is school day number 6, it would have been 7 however he was home sick yesterday. I spent alot of time thinking about school and preparing for it and the lunchbox was one thing i put a major amount of research into as i personally felt that it is really important to find the right one. Yes alot of people probably think i'm crazy caring so much about a 'lunchbox', but when i found the right one, ordered it from somewhere in America, paid a small fortune for it, waited paitently for it and finally recieved it in the mail, i was so excited and knew i had done the right thing.
I am just going to share as i go, however here are a few to start with. I have more to add but i don't have the patience to do so right this moment. I am sure i will have plenty more to say on the subject when i'm not so distracted .

 

This mum's journey: page one

Sitting on the shower floor with her arms wrapped around her knees, the steaming water hitting her skin while she reflects on the moments passed and contemplates the moments to come. Feeling rather horrible due to a recent outbreak of sickness that has spread through her home she is enjoying the quiet selfish moment knowing that it won't last. This day will be filled with cries of "mummy i need you' and 'mummy i want this' so she knows she has to pull herself together, both mind and body so that she can give as much as she possibly can. Her two sick little boys have been put through the wringer this past week or so and are tired, miserable and needy, one staving off an infection and the other possibly beginning to develop it. Wishing she could take it all away and suffer it all herself on their behalf but knowing she can't is beginning to make her feel frustrated and helpless. A screaming, tear filled knock on the bathroom door trips her back into reality and she knows that this time of selfish quietness has come to an end. Dragging her body up off the floor and out of the heavenly stream of warmth created by the shower is a difficult task. The cries have stopped but she knows that it won't be long before they begin again. Reluctantly drying and dressing herself she steps out of her coocoon and back into her world. The sound of the door closing behind her is quickly followed by the sound of bare feet padding across the tiles in her direction. She turns and looks down upon the face of the little person that has made his way to her, tears still glistening in his big brown eyes and a steady stream of snot running from his nose down to his lips. He holds his arms out and says 'mummy'. She scoops him up in her arms and as he wraps his arms around her and nestles into her shoulder she realises just how worthwhile her life really is.

It's been a while, simplifying

Those of you who have been a part of my blogging journey will know that i change my mind every 5 minutes and i like to start new projects and i don't always get the chance to follow them through. It's never because i don't want to keep going with them, its usually because i am such an all or nothing type of person. If i can't give something my constant attention then the fire burns out. At this point in time i am attempting to simplify, beginning with my blogs. I have removed all of the other ones that i was working on and i am now just going to use this one. I feel like i just get confused sometimes when i do too many things so i am just going to use this as a place to share every part of my journey. So we'll see how it goes.

Nearly there...

I started this journey in the hopes that one day i would have something to show for it, that i would have a home that felt fresh and clear of excessive clutter and that i would be able to learn to say goodbye to things that really didn't matter. I think that i am finally making some real progress. Sometimes it feels like one step forward two steps back because it is such a long process, by the time i am done with one room and have moved on to the next the previous room becomes untidy again. Its frustrating and i have felt like giving up on many occasions and this is probably why it has taken so long to get this far. However this week we have managed to take some huge steps in this unstuffing journey.
I pulled everything out of our shed, we sorted it and started planning items that would be taken to the dump and others that would be either sold in a garage sale or donated.
The next step was to sort the toy room which had become my dumping ground for all of the excess stuff. This was a large overwhelming job that is now done.
We removed all of the furnature from the room and all that remains now are the storage shelves and a cupboard that previously lived in Mr 5's room.
Today I sorted all of the boys clothes out so that i could finally see what they have and make sure their summer wardrobe is suffient. I was pleasently surprised with what they actually have. I also tidied their rooms and bookshelves and changed their sheets so that now their rooms are clutter free and fresh. Our bedroom got a good tidy up as well.
The next step for me is to sort a few ods and ends that are still waiting for their turn on the dining table.
I am excited to be having a garage table soon so that i can see if i can make a little money to put back in to the house and then donate anything left as there is no point in holding on to any of it. The sooner i get rid of the the more free we will feel. Photos will come when i am satisfied.
I hope you have enjoyed this journey so far.