Trusting in the process...

I don't feel happy all of the time. Certain people can make me feel happy effortlessly, like my children for example, joking, teasing, cuddling and conversing with them is a gaurunteed daily source of happiness. Even just for a fleeting moment. I am a very anxious person and though most people may see me as very social and extroverted, I am in fact more prone to enjoy my time by myself,  trying to find my peace and quiet and calm. I love people, I love to talk to, listen to and to help them but once I've had enough I need to shut everyone out. We are all  operate so differently and need to be allowed to experience our individuality.  In my heart I know that things will always be OK,  that I'll always have glimpses of happy but I'm just not sure that's enough. I know that my life could be different, better, but that involves some big changes and of course change is a very scary thing. For now I just have to trust in the process, have hope that instinctually I'll just figure it all out.